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X16 <br />37 <br />2. The update should include both simple and practical performance criteria for all objectives in the <br />Comprehensive Plan and refer to regular, to-be-specified performance audits of the County's <br />achievement of the performance indicators by an independent assessor. Procedures for <br />periodically updating the county profile should also be specified. <br />3. The document refers to "Orange County" at different times to include the incorporated cities <br />witlvn the county and also only as those areas outside of the municipalities. Since this Plan will <br />not apply within incorporated areas (they have Comprehensive Plans of their own), the default <br />should be that `the County" means unincorporated Orange County. This needs to be extremely <br />clear in oxder for the document to be useful.. Similarly, as much as possible, data should focus <br />on unincorporated Orange County rather than including data from the incorporated cities and <br />towns of the county. <br />4. General terms such as "enhanced community character," "quality of life," and "hipness" should <br />be avoided since they connote different images and meanings for each person. Instead, specific <br />tei7ns that specify what is meant should be used -such as, "pedestrian-friendly," "diverse," <br />"mixed-use," and "ecologically-sensitive." <br />5. When making longitudinal comparisons,.especially with environmental and traffic data, it would <br />be more helpful to know per-capita figures than percentage changes based on gross units <br />disregarding population. <br />Coalition readers would also like to bring the following copy-writing suggestions to pour attention: <br />1. Move the. County Profile. (chapter 3, in its entirety) to the Appendix. <br />2. Subsection headings are hard to follow when they span multiple pages. Placing subsection <br />indicators in a sidebar would facilitate document navigation. <br />3. Also, please convert the document's styles to bookmarks within the PDF and have them be <br />hyperlinked from the table of contents. This is practically a necessity in a document of this <br />complexity. <br />4. This draft does a poor job of integrating the figures and tables with the text. Figures and tables <br />should be called out in the text and the data put into context. Citations of data from other <br />sources should provide the dates on which those data were taken. <br />5. Rather than defining certain terms in the Land Use Element, include a "Definitions" section of <br />the Appendix applicable to all elements of the plan: <br />Page 2 O. C. Comprehensive Plan Coalition Memo to county Plansiing Board, April 15, 2008 <br />